They say you should never ask a lady her age, but I never understood what the problem was. Also, I’m not sure I’ve ever described myself as a lady so maybe that comment doesn’t apply to me. In fact, I’m so not bothered that a few months back I got this guy to have a guess when using the phrase ‘mix tape’ apparently really threw him off his age calculations.
I sometimes feel worried that I should’ve done more by the age I am. I know people around my age with PHDs (well she’s almost finished it), who have the job they’ve always wanted, who run their own business, who have travelled the world.
I haven’t done any of that.
I sometimes feel that I pretended at being a grown up when really I’m trapped being a kid and I wonder if I ever will make it being a ‘proper adult’. And them I think, who wants to do that? Being a grown up is nothing like as fun as I thought it was going to be when I was about 8.
But other times, I feel old beyond my years. I went out for a birthday celebration last night with my oldest friends (not in terms of age, just the ones I’ve known longest) and we got back home at approximately 9.30pm. It is this sort of moment that I like to use the phrase ‘Rock and Roll’ to describe myself. I don’t like getting drunk, I don’t take drugs, I tut at graffiti (just the tagging kind, not the more arty stuff that can actually cheer up a sad wall) I like to be in bed by 10pm and I really like a hot water bottle in winter.
I don’t know who the celebrities are. I don’t care about how many friends I have or whether it will be awkward if I miss a social event. I’ve definitely never drank from a ‘fish bowl’. I don’t blow all my money on pay day. I do pay into a pension and have a savings account. I would like to buy a house.
I don’t know what any of these things mean anymore. Yesterday I was 25. Today I am 26.
Does it matter?
I might not own my home or business. I might not be working my dream job or travelling to forgeign countries. So what if I like to go to bed early. I know I don’t function well if I haven’t had enough sleep. It doesn’t make. Any difference.
The best thing I have managed to do in my 26 years on the planet is make it to this point knowing who I am and being happy with that.
And that is enough for me.
Love Charlotte x