I might not know you.

Thanks, Noah and the Whale for that cheery thought.

Hello! 

I actually really like that song. It reminds me of one of my very best friends. Why is she one of my very best friends? Because potentially in 5 years time, I might not know her. But if that happened, if we drifted apart, I know we could pick back up exactly as we are.

I know this, because we’ve done this. Admittedly, only for a two year span, but we drifted nonetheless. And then we got back together. She’s a friend for life. 

The funny thing about life though is it gets in the way. We currently can accidentally go for months without seeing each other. Sometimes without even a text message. We live in different cities. We do different things. We are different people. 

But one of us will always pick up the phone and make contact. And then we meet up, and catch up and everything is good.

I don’t know what will be happening in five years time. I certainly couldn’t answer the question ‘Where do you see yourself…’ in an interview. 

Five years feels both ages away and scarily close. It’s been almost four since I left university. Where the hell did they go? 

It is that feeling that makes me panic a little bit. I should have a plan. An ambition. A vague sense of direction as to where I want to go and how to get there. 

As it is, I don’t have the foggiest. I fell into my job and it turned out I am fairly good at it. But there’s not a lot of options in terms of progression. 

Do I want progression?

Should I want progression?

Or is it okay to just bumble along knowing I’m fairly happy and in a secure position? 

Will I regret it if in five years time I’m still here?

I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t have a plan or a grand ambition. I never have and I know deep down that I probably never will. But I do have a lot of very small ambitions. Things that probably shouldn’t even be ambitions. Like to own a chest freezer. (I do have slightly grander ideas but that is genuinely something I want). 

If I can keep these in mind; focus on them, then maybe it doesn’t matter that I don’t know where I will be in five years. I can work it out as I go along and I reckon I’ll still have a good friend to call up if it’s all gone wrong. 

Pip pip, Charlotte x

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